Since "Bernard"--a Nordic guy--didn't look you in the eye, I suspect he might be Finnish. My corporate overlords are from Finland, and Finns in general don't look strangers in the eye. As the anecdote goes: "Finns don't look you in the eye, instead they look at the tips of their shoes. Once they know you for ten years, they might look at the tips of your shoes."
I think that the reason we walk away from a difficult confrontation often is because we think what happened wasn't so important, while the offended party does, or that--probably in your anecdote--while it was important then, you have gotten over it, left it behind (water under the bridge and all that), and are lost for words when confronted with it.
Yes, we've all done stupid and silly things in the past. Then we learned from them and grew, changed for the better. Then, to be held accountable again is like punishing a criminal twice for the same crime. Anyway, fantastic comeback. I laughed, too.
Depending on your mood, you can believe she forever treasured the memory of an early, innocent but intense love, always wondered what if...especially on those days she needed a better man...
OR she could keep it as a reminder to never rush to a yes if thoughtful reflection, a better considering of the negatives, is the wiser choice. Not marrying you was dodging the bullet -- a gift granted by time. In the future the ability to say no will have to come from within because time may not not available to save her from an "opportunity" more glitter than gold.
If you had been him, needing to save face because he was obviously very jealous of you (in his eyes you're THE threatening alpha male his wife still yearns for), what would your reply have been?
Both “Katrina” and I dodged that bullet — we were way too young and naive to know what we were doing. That said, I get where “Bernard” was coming from. In the car on the way to a party in another state is not the place to find out the host is your spouse’s ex. But by the time it becomes clear the ex is no threat (and no one who has met me has ever accused me of being an alpha male), the only right thing to say is whatever graciously changes the subject. A face-saving exit ramp has emerged from the fog. You take it.
Great anecdote, Bill.
Since "Bernard"--a Nordic guy--didn't look you in the eye, I suspect he might be Finnish. My corporate overlords are from Finland, and Finns in general don't look strangers in the eye. As the anecdote goes: "Finns don't look you in the eye, instead they look at the tips of their shoes. Once they know you for ten years, they might look at the tips of your shoes."
I think that the reason we walk away from a difficult confrontation often is because we think what happened wasn't so important, while the offended party does, or that--probably in your anecdote--while it was important then, you have gotten over it, left it behind (water under the bridge and all that), and are lost for words when confronted with it.
Yes, we've all done stupid and silly things in the past. Then we learned from them and grew, changed for the better. Then, to be held accountable again is like punishing a criminal twice for the same crime. Anyway, fantastic comeback. I laughed, too.
Weirdly wonderful
I will never look at gum the same way again.
Depending on your mood, you can believe she forever treasured the memory of an early, innocent but intense love, always wondered what if...especially on those days she needed a better man...
OR she could keep it as a reminder to never rush to a yes if thoughtful reflection, a better considering of the negatives, is the wiser choice. Not marrying you was dodging the bullet -- a gift granted by time. In the future the ability to say no will have to come from within because time may not not available to save her from an "opportunity" more glitter than gold.
If you had been him, needing to save face because he was obviously very jealous of you (in his eyes you're THE threatening alpha male his wife still yearns for), what would your reply have been?
Both “Katrina” and I dodged that bullet — we were way too young and naive to know what we were doing. That said, I get where “Bernard” was coming from. In the car on the way to a party in another state is not the place to find out the host is your spouse’s ex. But by the time it becomes clear the ex is no threat (and no one who has met me has ever accused me of being an alpha male), the only right thing to say is whatever graciously changes the subject. A face-saving exit ramp has emerged from the fog. You take it.
To most, no, you may not be alpha material, but to him you obviously were. Accept the label, but swager with alpha modesty. Cheers